Its Hard Being a Unicorn

Hello there, do you want to be a Unicorn? 
You might be thinking, YES! I WOULD HAVE A HORN AND MAGICAL POWERS!
 Well, naive little child, you are WRONG. As a Unicorn, I have learnt through the hard way that is life, that being a Unicorn is not easy. As a matter of fact, it is rather HARD to be a Unicorn, for some reasons that are too repugnant for me to even SPEAK about, but I can type about them, so you horrendous human beings can be quiet about the Unicorn Race. First of all, we have to hide from EVIL companies like NASA. They're trying to find us. I know they are. As a matter of fact, there is about 10 cameras outside of my totally relaxing house, and they're all trying to catch me. Every. Single. One.
And you know what? Pegasus keeps thinking he is totally superior to me. He is not superior to me. Its horrible. By the way, Unicorns also have to suffer Pegasus friends abandoning you when they see another Pegasus.
Its not cool. Its not easy to be a unicorn, blind little creature, and I hope you are beginning to realize that.

Ehem. Companies like NASA try to find Unicorns every day, and its not easy to hide from them. They haunt you, stalk you beneath the eyes, and stare quietly at you until you give in. As a matter of fact, I heard they take you to a spaceship or some other horrible place where your eyes drench blood and you feel like barfing. It happened to a cousin of mine. He is now in a Mental Asylum. So, you don't want that to happen to you, don't cha? It seems horrendous, Unicorns suffer. Very very much. So you must disappear to another country and move every single day. Its not fun. ITS NOT EASY.

And guess what, unconvinced little person who wants to be a horned little creature?
PEGASUS HATES YOU. He is a total show off and is always tee-hee-ing about his wings and is always kissing Millie. Who is the only cool Pegasus ever kthnx. Well then, lets say you are happily munching on a rainbow when Pegasus comes and eats your rainbow. What if you PAID for the rainbow? It doesn't feel good. As a matter of fact, it feels the opposite of good. It feels bad. You will sit there watching Pegasus and his wings going toot toot at you. It burns your throat and soul and everything. People do not realize Pegasus instead. You would be better off being a Pegasus, as a matter of fact, you could toot toot your wings at helpless Unicorns. DO NOT BE A UNICORN. Its not easy.

Well then, still-wanting-to-be-a-unicorn-fool, you might be thinking of mingling with Pegasi to break the hatred of Mr.Pegasus. First of all, this wont work. 2nd of all, PEGASUS FRIENDS WILL LEAVE YOU THE MOMENT THEY SEE ANOTHER PEGASUS. Seriously, Millie, (Who is the only good Pegasus ever.) leaves me for a Pegasus the moment she sees one. SO YEAH THEY CAN GO ON FLYING ADVENTURES TOGETHER, SO WHAT? I am a much better friend than any Pegasus evar in forevar. SO UM. PEGASUS, NO MATTER HOW MILLIE-LIKE THEY ARE, ARE GOING TO LEAVE YOU FOR A PEGASUS THE MOMENT THEY SEE ONE.
The end.

I hope you foolish humans now realize how much Unicorns suffer. They are hunted by Nasa, they get stomped on by Pegasus, and if you DO happen to have a Pegasus friend, they leave you for a Pegasus. ALL THE TIME. Its not easy being a Unicorn. I have experience, its not fun. I hope all the Unicorn-Wannabe's disappear, since they will suffer the true sadness of being a Unicorn when they actually become one. I hope you realize how much our lives sucks. Now Tah-Tah! I'm going to go move to Canada, due to NASA chasing me.